Lesbian Visibility Day - Go Public Or Go Home!
Updated: Mar 16
When I was well hidden in the closet of my English village home, I NEVER thought for a moment that I would become a visible lesbian, fighting for my love and marriage equality in the United States of America!
Several life events brought me to the point when I realized that I had to be my true self, or I’d slip into some sort of abyss. While back in 2005, when online dating was still kind of new, at least to me anyway, I met and fell in love with the most AMAZING American woman, Laurie. Ours is a crazy love story. When I first met Laurie, it felt like a romantic movie, she literally did have me at “Hello”. For the first time in my life, I had found someone who made me feel like ME! Our bi-national, long distance love affair caused us to fly back and forth, between England and the US, a ridiculous amount of times - but we were committed to be together - and it was SO worth it. We married in both countries, with happy gatherings of close family and friends, and we could not have been happier …
Until, the federal government stepped in our way. They didn’t recognize our marriage and that meant we were of the brink of enforced separation. At this point we were given an ultimatum - by various official LGBTQ organizations - either, to go under the radar and stay hidden from ICE (Immigration and Customs Enforcement), that would mean I couldn’t travel anywhere. Or, go over the radar and tell our story publicly to whoever would listen. Well, I can tell you, to go public couldn’t have been further from my mind while hiding in my closet in England. But this was truly a case of “go public or go home” and I wasn’t about to give up on my love. Laurie and I made the decision, we would tell our story and it was the best decision we ever made.
Telling our story made me realize how important being visible is. It isn’t for everyone, and that is fine, but if you are visible it does help others to see what IS possible. Our binational love story was picked up by GLAD Law and went in support of Edie Windsor’s landmark case against DOMA, (Defense of Marriage Act). Edie won her case and section 3 of DOMA was found unconstitutional, which meant Laurie could finally sponsor me for a green card and we no long had to live in fear of enforced separation. Love and equality were so worth fighting for, not just for us, but for others who so desperately wanted their love and marriages to recognized. Over the years we have been so touched by the number of people who have reached out to us, to thank us for sharing our love story, for being visible. From the closet to the public stage, was an incredible journey and I wouldn’t change one minute of it!
We want to give a massive shout out to ALL the incredible lesbians out there, whether you are visible or not, you are important to the world and never forget that. We also want to thank each and every lesbian who is making a difference with their lives, pictured below are just a few who inspire us and some who have directly helped us in our fight for marriage equality, YOU ARE ALL AMAZING WOMEN!!!
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